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» Tsukiko Yukimura/Dark Archangel
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby Nanohanan Sun Mar 15, 2015 7:55 am

» Komik yang lagi diikutin??
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby Nanohanan Tue Mar 03, 2015 10:50 pm

» Cara buat Character Sheet
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby Nanohanan Tue Mar 03, 2015 10:16 pm

» [XINTROX] Vsio Stitched
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby Vsio Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:11 am

» I Just Wanna Say...............
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby Akai Suzu Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:51 am

» Kensei Hitori, Ninja
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby Tekken Tachikaze Thu Feb 04, 2010 9:04 am

» Moving to ZetaBoard
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby cyril azuma Fri Dec 25, 2009 5:26 pm

» NOOOESS ;w;
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby Akai Suzu Sun Dec 20, 2009 11:18 am

» Lagi dengerin lagu apa ?
comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeby Akai Suzu Sun Dec 20, 2009 11:14 am

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cyril azuma
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Noir Aile
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kaoru asegawa
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Christopher R.U. Endia L.
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Itsuki Tachibana
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Sakaenagi Kouzuka H.R
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 comment the boys and the girl

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Itsuki Tachibana
kaoru asegawa
6 posters
PengirimMessage
kaoru asegawa
Judgement
Judgement
kaoru asegawa


Jumlah posting : 433
Join date : 18.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Leine Rheusa
Race: Beast
Job: Countess

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeMon Nov 02, 2009 6:30 am

Uhuk silahkan menghujat karya ngaco itu. Saya sendiri sebenarnya cuma suka sama

Pembicaraannya aja sih hahaha.

Silahkan XD mau flame pun tak apa
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Itsuki Tachibana

Itsuki Tachibana


Jumlah posting : 252
Join date : 24.10.09
Age : 30
Lokasi : Indonesia

Character sheet
Name: Itsuki Tachibana
Race: Human
Job: Student/Gunner

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeMon Nov 02, 2009 3:13 pm

Bagus juga... XD
btw, kenapa di setiap akhir paragraph ada kata2 'satisfied'-nya? ^^
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kaoru asegawa
Judgement
Judgement
kaoru asegawa


Jumlah posting : 433
Join date : 18.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Leine Rheusa
Race: Beast
Job: Countess

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeMon Nov 02, 2009 5:08 pm

Itu yah buat cirilhasnya aja.

Iseng aja sih hahaha
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Itsuki Tachibana

Itsuki Tachibana


Jumlah posting : 252
Join date : 24.10.09
Age : 30
Lokasi : Indonesia

Character sheet
Name: Itsuki Tachibana
Race: Human
Job: Student/Gunner

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeMon Nov 02, 2009 6:17 pm

owh...
ceritanya lumayan juga... XD
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kaoru asegawa
Judgement
Judgement
kaoru asegawa


Jumlah posting : 433
Join date : 18.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Leine Rheusa
Race: Beast
Job: Countess

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeMon Nov 02, 2009 6:24 pm

Hahaha terima kasih.

Padahal saya cuma suka percakapannya saja.
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Camschatcensis

Camschatcensis


Jumlah posting : 96
Join date : 30.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Miria Fritille
Race: Beast
Job: Blood Hunter

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeMon Nov 02, 2009 8:28 pm

PERTAMAX! XDD

Numpang komen ya~ keren looh pake bahasa inggris B-)
Cuma ada beberapa koreksi sama grammar-nya ^^

Cerita udah bagus, simpel, tapi agak klise juga xD;

Overall udah top, Nice job :)
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kaoru asegawa
Judgement
Judgement
kaoru asegawa


Jumlah posting : 433
Join date : 18.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Leine Rheusa
Race: Beast
Job: Countess

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeTue Nov 03, 2009 2:55 am

Makasih hahahaha.

Iya sih grammarnya ngaco, di microsoft word pada di underline ijo semua hahaha.
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Itsuki Tachibana

Itsuki Tachibana


Jumlah posting : 252
Join date : 24.10.09
Age : 30
Lokasi : Indonesia

Character sheet
Name: Itsuki Tachibana
Race: Human
Job: Student/Gunner

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeTue Nov 03, 2009 4:37 pm

ahahaha... XD
btw, tu buatan sendiri? o.O
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kaoru asegawa
Judgement
Judgement
kaoru asegawa


Jumlah posting : 433
Join date : 18.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Leine Rheusa
Race: Beast
Job: Countess

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeTue Nov 03, 2009 7:57 pm

Iyap pastinya

Mana berani saya publikasikan klo hasil copasan?
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Itsuki Tachibana

Itsuki Tachibana


Jumlah posting : 252
Join date : 24.10.09
Age : 30
Lokasi : Indonesia

Character sheet
Name: Itsuki Tachibana
Race: Human
Job: Student/Gunner

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeWed Nov 04, 2009 5:39 pm

Kereennn... XD
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kaoru asegawa
Judgement
Judgement
kaoru asegawa


Jumlah posting : 433
Join date : 18.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Leine Rheusa
Race: Beast
Job: Countess

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeWed Nov 04, 2009 8:38 pm

Ke-keren? Hahaha

*mangap dan cengo* wkwkwk
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Itsuki Tachibana

Itsuki Tachibana


Jumlah posting : 252
Join date : 24.10.09
Age : 30
Lokasi : Indonesia

Character sheet
Name: Itsuki Tachibana
Race: Human
Job: Student/Gunner

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeFri Nov 06, 2009 8:49 pm

eh, jangan mangap terus, nanti da lalat masuk lho..
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Christopher R.U. Endia L.
Death
Death
Christopher R.U. Endia L.


Jumlah posting : 319
Join date : 06.11.09
Age : 31
Lokasi : Within the darkness...

Character sheet
Name: C.R.U.E.L.
Race: Angel
Job: (Dark) Archangel

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeFri Nov 06, 2009 9:24 pm

@^:hahaha


@Kaoru : emang bagus kok ceritanya,meskipun mungkin ada beberapa kata yg salah.
Mungkin..got worst itu harusnya got worse,yg menyatakan bahwa kondisinya jadi lebih buruk.Ato klo mw menyatakan kondisi yg terburuk,pke became worst.
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kaoru asegawa
Judgement
Judgement
kaoru asegawa


Jumlah posting : 433
Join date : 18.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Leine Rheusa
Race: Beast
Job: Countess

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeFri Nov 06, 2009 9:30 pm

Iya sih baru nyadar juga hahahaha

udah ada vrrsi koreksi grammar ngaconya sih cuma males ngepostnya *disepak*

terima kasih ^^
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OnZy

OnZy


Jumlah posting : 45
Join date : 09.11.09
Age : 30
Lokasi : Southern Town

Character sheet
Name:
Race: Human
Job:

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeTue Nov 10, 2009 8:52 pm

Keren ^ ^
Jujur aja... Kalau tu ide cerita dari kamu... aku kasih jempol sepuluh.
Bodo amat masalah grammar, ga ada yang mencegah penulis buat menyalurkan isi hatinya kepada pembaca kan? dan aku suka banget kalimat yang berakhiran "satisfied"
Kaoru-chan kalo aku boleh ngomong niey...
"You've got talent" cheers
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kaoru asegawa
Judgement
Judgement
kaoru asegawa


Jumlah posting : 433
Join date : 18.10.09

Character sheet
Name: Leine Rheusa
Race: Beast
Job: Countess

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeWed Nov 11, 2009 6:55 am

Makasih XD

Well grammarnya sih emang penting supaya yang baca kagak salah ngerti XD

Makasih banyak onzy san XD
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OnZy

OnZy


Jumlah posting : 45
Join date : 09.11.09
Age : 30
Lokasi : Southern Town

Character sheet
Name:
Race: Human
Job:

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeWed Nov 11, 2009 7:06 pm

bagus lho ceritanya. buat lagi ya, Kaoru-san :)
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Roux Hiver
Judgement
Judgement
Roux Hiver


Jumlah posting : 209
Join date : 13.11.09
Age : 28
Lokasi : A place where winter is red and everlasting.

Character sheet
Name: Vein Skye Hiver
Race: Beast
Job: Nightwing

comment the boys and the girl Empty
PostSubyek: Re: comment the boys and the girl   comment the boys and the girl Icon_minitimeFri Nov 13, 2009 7:24 pm

Oh, cerita ini. Saya sudah pernah baca xD

Beberapa ungkapan saya untuk cerita ini =
1. Banyak grammatical error, tapi terus aja berlatih, nanti bisa sendiri xD
2. Ceritanya bagus, saya suka. Tapi sepertinya lebih enak jika pemerannya diberi nama sehingga manggilnya mudah.

Hahaha xD
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